I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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