bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
