Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
