jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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