Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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