I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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