god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
