Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
