Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I love having hate sex.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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