I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize