When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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