So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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