Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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