I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We left an ass print on the piano.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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