Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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