you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
