He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
