Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
