All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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