someone threw a dead crab at me
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
