How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
