I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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