Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
