i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My dick has a subreddit
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
