Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
