I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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