Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
