dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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