I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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