i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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