at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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