I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize