A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
