yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
