We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize