he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
