After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Bring me that man meat
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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