I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize