Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
