Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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