I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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