if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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