hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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