I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
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