Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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