so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
