But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
