Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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