a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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