I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
