I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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