we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just found puke in my bra..
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
