Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
