The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I FOUND THE LEGS
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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