I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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