I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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