A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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