He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
