Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
