I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
