i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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