I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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