I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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