Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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