I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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