Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
