would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He did a backflip because drugs
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
