I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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