Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
