as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
