Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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