I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
