i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
