Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
