I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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